According to the BBC article ‘Divorce Rates Data- How Has It Changed?’, 34% of marriages will end before they reach their 20th anniversary, divorce rates are highest amongst 40-44 year olds and 1 in 3 of all marriages will end in divorce. These sad statistics reveal that today divorce is the unfortunate reality of many people today so at least you can take comfort in the fact that you are not alone.
The first thing that struck me after I had finalized my divorce was my sense of loneliness. Although there had been problems in my marriage for many years, I had always seen myself as part of a unit or a couple and so re-branding my identity that represented this new me was important. I couldn’t think of a version of me that did things without my now ex-husband and thinking of things that I alone enjoyed had me confused! I ended up joining the gym and really getting into yoga as it had a real calming effect on me and helped me centre my emotions.
another really important factor of moving on after a divorce is to clear any debris of the marriage out of your new space. As human beings, we’re innately wired to attach meaning to arbitrary objects. I’m not saying to throw out your memories as this is also counterproductive, but clearing them away and storing them is a good idea so bad memories are not conjured up when you least expect them. Since I was living in a much smaller flat and I had a lot of stuff, I found this blog ‘15 hideaway storage ideas for small spaces‘ by Apartment Therapy really helpful when coming up with creative solutions.
Finances are another really complicated issue when it comes to divorce. I never looked after that sort of area so when I got divorced, I was at a true loss as to what to do. Luckily, I found The Woman’s Wealth Expert who specialises in financial planning for women and she really helped me get my books straight.
Finally, when divorcing keeping a good network of friends and family close is essential. You shouldn’t feel like you’re a hassle or an inconvenience. Your friends are always more willing to help you than you think so you should utilise them! Try not to dwell on issues from the past and instead, concentrate on your future because there really is a life after divorce.